A truly secure connection and functioning in a couple manifests in a receptive rather than a reactive state. The focus shifts from fixing our partner to what is best for the relationship as a unit.
A secure functioning in a couple is about two people coming together with a shared vision, conditionally and on terms agreed, sharing their power and their authority, whilst putting their relationship above anything else. The relationship becomes somewhat of a ‘higher purpose’ and is always being put first. Decisions are made based on what is ‘good for us’ rather than throwing each other under the bus. The process of the transformation in my sessions therefore targets a couple as a team rather than assisting two individuals in fixing each other. Each partner focusses on the ideal relationship rather than the ‘perfect partner’. And by working together this way as a strong team, things get done and ideas get mutually moved forward.
Check out my monthly blog to get some powerful tips and tricks on how to stay vibrantly alive, thrive and handle everyday discomfort and unnecessary conflicts.
Friendship and banter: The foundations of human connection.
People from all walks of life, of all ages, say that the most important goal for their marriage is to have a friend, be a friend and develop a strong friendship. Disconnected couples who come to me repeatedly say that they love their other half but are not ‘in love’ and don’t like them rightContinue reading “Friendship and banter: The foundations of human connection.”
NVC Nonviolent Communication
Nonviolent communication? What would the violent one look like? Most of us have experienced it and it manifests in an aggressive choice of talk, the inability to listen or empathise, or to fail to find a common ground. Compassionate or collaborative communication is scientifically proven and was invented by Marshall Rosenberg in 1960, based onContinue reading “NVC Nonviolent Communication”
Staying emotionally connected
Some of us talk a lot, even too much, and it is important for us to have people around us who we can have deep, meaningful conversations with at the fireplace with a glass of wine. Unfortunately, we don’t always talk about our emotions, impressions, worries or dreams to our partners. Why is that? SometimesContinue reading “Staying emotionally connected”
The new relationship rules
On some level we all know that after Covid-19 our lives will never ‘get back to normal’; as they will merely ‘get back to the new norm’. But here is how our relationships are undeniably shifting: We are creating brand new relationship standards. For some of us it is super awkward to hug others orContinue reading “The new relationship rules”
When communication sparks joy
Communication is definitely the most important indicator of a strong relationship. Although a lot of people are great communicators, not all are good listeners. And active listening does not just mean being able to repeat what our partner has said. It means truly understanding the deeper meaning and see where they’re coming from, as wellContinue reading “When communication sparks joy”
What is your survival strategy?
Most couples who come to me clearly appear to struggle with emotional regulation and emotional connection. But what exactly is this and how does it manifest? And how can couples start to recognise and validate what it is that is really going on in each other’s inner words? Our survival strategy is the behavioural patternsContinue reading “What is your survival strategy?”
Are you ready to rescue your relationship?
The first step to a successful coaching journey is for both you and your partner to admit that something is not working anymore. You’ve already decided that you are ready to invest to find clarity and transform your relationship, so well done for coming this far! During our sessions we will look at how you bothContinue reading “Are you ready to rescue your relationship?”
Is there a future for the two of you?
Most of us place exponential expectations on our chosen companion.. We want them to fulfill us emotionally, sexually, romantically, intellectually, spiritually…and forever. So how do you actually know if your relationship chance of surviving and thriving? If If your answer to most of the below statements is ‘yes’, don’t hesitate and RESUSCITATE:-) :
1. We respond positively to each other’s good news and emotions
2. We have a similar sense of humour and our own banter
3. We are each other’s priority in life
4. We are still learning and growing when together
5. We remember what brought us together in the first place
6. We still have soothing moments of comfort and calmness
7. We are both invested in taking active steps to reconnect
8. We enjoy spending quality time together
9. We care about each other and there is love (although we may not be ‘in love’)
It’s complicated. But it doesn’t have to be.
Please don’t hesitate, and reach out to me to find out how I can help you get from chaos to clarity.
